Oct 29, 2007

Being me


I wish I were a water bottle
My water drives thirst away,
After I'm used, after I'm empty,
I'm just thrown away..

I wish I were a shadow,
Dancing to the tunes of light,
My life not in my own hands
Merging seamlessly into the night.






I wish I were a mayfly,
Living for a day or two,
No burdens, no regrets,
Till I'm crushed by a shoe

I wish I were a rock,
Sweating in the sun,
With nothing to give me company,
Nobody..No one..

I wish I were a barren desert,
Or even a crooked tree,
Only then would I realise,
How great it is to be me..


-Ryan.A.Nash

Oct 19, 2007

A journal entry

How would it be if life comes to a standstill whenever you wanted it to...
Like in photographs...
Happy faces remain happy. Those in anxiety stay that way. Where friends stay together for eternity.

One would like to have those lazy days at the IM forever wouldn't one? Or that comfortable seat at the back under the fan right after lunch? All those walks alone by yourself, singing a tune to no one in particular, getting weird looks but never bothering?

Reminiscing does bring a smile or a laugh to one's face doesn't it, no matter who reminisces. You just comment on someone and a friend of yours tells you you were like that when we first met, and then you get shocked but he finishes with "not now of course...", and then you smile.

One does get frustrated sometimes. Like how you get jacked for something which you never should have been. Or when you're left out..

It's been a crazy week. Rain all around me... never letting me walk alone, drowning my voice,..If only it would be quieter but still, be there. I've been walking quite a lot. With company too. Those walks are also worth remembering. One would love to walk the beaten path wouldn't one?

Study holidays have begun. Same difference. Just lot of time left to do the stuff you like....like sketching that wolf you told a friend about a week ago, or picking up that neglected pen and writing something down or just filling up your playlist and listening to it over and over again..Or just having time home with family.




I live in a crazy world. If every moment were to be photographed one would run out of paper to print them on or albums to put them in. Every moment feels new. I put out a candle with my tongue today. A scrawny cat followed me adding to the list of animals that like me (after dogs..). Either that or he liked the cream which was on my finger. I had kurkure's new flavor. Tasted like shit.

I think about the many people who've influenced me. Made me think. Made me feel special. Angry. Stupefied. Made me respect them on my own. Made me detest them by asking for respect. Made me feel loved...Each one, special in their own way.


He looks up from his blue book. A silent breeze blows past. He hears someone say "Dude let's go..". Finishes what he's writing..

"I feel alive...."

Photo courtesy: me
Inspired by the one who lives in a matchbox and talks to his blue book.

Oct 10, 2007

Identity



As I was going up the stairs

I met a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today

I wish, I wish he'd go away....


One of the best poems I've ever read and could be the simplest one too..

AND

One of the best movies I've ever seen. Don't read reviews. Please watch the movie.

Oct 9, 2007




One photo which I've looked at for a long time and never got bored . I don't know who this is.(Wish I did. Though it looks a lot like arwen (liv tyler) from lord of the rings) because I got this from google images when I searched for "Trance".

Is it the captivating eyes?

Is it the few strands of hair that streak across the pencilled eye brows??

Is it the beautiful nose which curves right into the cheeks?

Is it the full lips which give the face, a lost innocent and a very pretty look??

Is it the black and white mode??

Or is it just me?

Oct 7, 2007

Roller Coaster

I feel like the last leaf hanging on to the tree in autumn. All others have gone. I feel cold and lonely. No one to speak to. No one to comfort me.




I feel like the stuffed lion which I bought. No care in the world. Happily playing lawn football and talking as if nothing else mattered.



I feel like jack's appendix. Useful in some way but looked upon with scorn.



Bitter sweet times. Like a roller coaster ride. Makes you puke when you've had the best ride of your life.

One happy thought. At least the ride's over. At least for now....

Oct 2, 2007

A trip

(This post is just to satisfy myself. It is not flowery, funny, illustrative or explanatory. Just simple.If you feel bored be welcome to click the close button)


Sometimes I just ask myself why I am what I am. Why I do what I do and how most stuff turn out how you don't want them to. Why some days you end up pleased even when you're down and some days you feel like you're missing something even when you're supposed to be happy. I guess it is all a part of the supposed mystery called Life.

You might probably wonder why this sudden paranoia. We just came back from Bangalore where we had gone an Iv to. Two days is not enough time for an Industrial visit( tour). Time flies by like an angel with her wings on fire plummeting to the ground ( Weird imagination huh?? I dunno why I thought of this). The train journey to bangalore was crap. The return was ..how to put it...one of a kind. Nothing eventful happened but it kinda stays in my mind. I won't go into the details now.

The CPRI had sprawling grounds. (we went there for the visit) which tired us and made us sleep in the auditorium. I did not realise we (Me hari and al) would have looked video-tapable funny till they told us they had taken a 15 minute video of us.

The evening visit to the Forum was an eventful one as well. My first visit there, I was really anticipating what I'd get to see. It was a sight for sore eys one can say. Landmark was amazing. I had an awesome time looking at the books and longing to buy them. We went to Mcdonalds as well. Again my first visit. Delicious food.Totally. Then left Forum with a bag containing two stuffed toys.(Can't imagine a 18 yr old playing with stuffed toys??.....One for my car and one for a friend) They looked really cute.

The next day we visited bannerghatta. The girls decided to surprise us by taking our seats at the back of the bus before we got there. I admit we were surprised and played along. We mock cried and pretended to admire their BRAVERY and panache. But then just for some time. Then it was back to the good old ways of vengeance :).

That evening saw us going to the commercial street. Just the local market with prettier girls. Only a few of the pretty ones were decently attired. I don't exactly mean covering every inch from hair to toe but then there are certain limits. And a lot of girls don't know theirs over there. Got sick of them. Shopped with friends. Had fun walking and hunting for dvds. Got wet in the rain. Ran in the rain. Danced in the rain. Danced in the bus after the rain. Took photos of a supposedly 'cute' me after getting wet in the rain.Showered after going to the hotel.

Took a walk at night to get a bottle of water with hari. Peace. Had a great dinner with gilli, karthik and venoth. Went back gave the stuffed toy to niveditha. Had a nice little chat which is so hard to get usually. I miss that thing I gave her. Was so cute.

Went back to the room. Had a discussion till 3 Am. Played cards. 6 slept where 3 should have. Woke up early. Went to the station. SOme slept some did not in the train. Played cards for a long time. Did not lose once :). Smiled to myself looking at all the sleeping people. How peaceful they were. Went out took photos of the fast moving landscape. Maha and siddhus heads floated out of the next compartment door in the photo while the train curled away. HArdly slept when all others around me did. But when I slept I caused a little bit of drama. I won't go into that now too.

ET gilli lokesh and adi took turns playing chess. Ganesh tried his hand at "ass" ( A game in cards). It was a great IV. Had an amazing time. Karthik and janani really did an awesome job.

I dunno why but I wanted this post to be very very simple. Straight from the heart. No thinking, just typing. I don't think I could have said this better than I have, and even if I have the ability to I won't try. I like it better this way.

Two pleasant days. 400 photographs of fun. Memories to treasure. Good and bad.

Bye!