Who needs a graphic card.

when you can play City blocks AND Mafia wars without one?

Clifford Lee Burton

"When a man lies, he murders some part of the world

These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives

All this I cannot bear to witness any longer

Cannot The Kingdom of Salvation take me home?"

my timesnewroman life

putting your thoughts into words is a tough task. on reading it, you should get the same feel as you did when you thought about it. otherwise it isn't worth it.

the thought process is the most unstructured process i've come across. every single thing around you contributes its little something to it. the subtlest of things bring about the biggest of changes, like the random person who sits near you on the bus, or meeting the unlikeliest of people, for however short a while or the temperature of water from the water doctor. everything contributes to how you feel at a particular time of the day, even though you might attribute your happiness solely to the fact that you got the rest of the day off, or your irritation to the bubblegum stuck under the keyboard.

over time, we change, for better or for worse. idle mind is a good measure of the changes i 've gone through. i used to type like a hyperactive 8th grader who fancied the '.' key on the keyboard. poetry was all about the rhyme and music used to refer to pop. walking was a bad thing, and bus rides were a rarity. feels like long ago, times when my handwriting was legible.

the first band i listened to was backstreet boys. i used to think they were good. then i saw how shallow they sounded, how none of their lines meant anything. that realisation came with 'nothing else matters', the first metallica song that i heard. and then i started believing that only when you write your own lines, will you ever mean what you sing. that was the point when i started divesifying, listening to music, irrespective of the genres. i loved songs for their lines, for the way they brought out an involunatary shudder in my spine, for few-second-brilliances.

that's how i got into metal. you need to understand metal to appreciate it. you can't like metal in a day, because metal is so vast. every day you come across a new sound. if you listen to black sabbath, you'll know why the tritone became to be one of the most worshipped sounds, or you probably won't, which is ok. metal was refreshing. what many perceive as just loud sound, has so much symmetry and beauty in it. there's this kind of a filter in my head, which helps me listen to a particular sound at a time, if i want to, like only the lead guitar in fade to black. metal is diverse. metal brings that awesome rush, that sense of wonder which comes when i listen to maiden's dance of death, jimmy page's stairway to heaven solo, enter sandman by metallica or the grungy guitar of nirvana, to mention a few. there's so much to explore and so much you can relate to. metal, to me, is not exquisite because of its select audience. it's all about the lines and structure, and the ebbs and flows. i can feel the angst in the guitar strings, when it speeds up, a volcanic eruption of emotion during the guitar solo. my hair stands on its end every time the crowd sings along with fear of the dark, master of puppets gives me a mini-orgasm, even. there's a part of metal that relates to everyone., but not metal as a whole, in my honest opinion.

a non-metallic song (if i may :p) plays as i type all this out. metal forms a large part of my music for now. but as i mentioned before, it's not only metal that does this. other genres lack the variety that metal offers, that's probably why they have so many genres, one for a particular feeling. the music i listen to now, reflects my mood, or even determines it sometimes. after listening to songs with life in them i can't bring myself to appreciate dance-mixes and remixes. i'm lost when in opeth's deliverance, in mighty popo's carefree african tune, or the blissful serenity of a piano, drowning in it, letting it flow through me. lost, in a strangely liberating way.

as time passed, i realised i think in english. tamil features now and then, but most of them it is english. at college, the avenues for conversing in english are very few. in class, i have like two people i can speak in english with. don't get me wrong here. the others speak well too, but they just don't. and they don't have to. but sometimes i get the feeling that if i don't use the english i have, i'd lose it slowly. so you see, thinking in english is something big. i guess that's one thing i needn't worry about.

i've stopped watching tv, except for the occasional soccer match, or the playoffs, or the grand slams, or the world cups, or the masters. i've lost faith in tamil cinema and tv shows. tv shows in tamil don't cater to young folk. so i shifted my attention to the english ones. what started off with f.r.i.e.n.d.s has now grown into this monster under my bed which threatens to eat me up. before, monday was the blues day, tuesday was the day after monday, wednesday was half way through, thursday was looking-forward-to-friday-day, friday was yay-it's-almost-the-weekend day, and then saturday and sunday were, saturday and sunday. a coupla months later monday became chuck + himym + prison break day, tuesday meant house m.d, wednesay was a day for detoxing, thursday meant naruto. friday, saturday and sunday didn't change. i've maxxed out. no more new tv shows, or so i've decided.

everyday, i walk 5 minutes to my busstop, take the bus to college, sit and let myself be 'taught', pretending to listen while the one up there in front, invariably pretends to be someone he'she is not, talk to a few people, ignore a few others, live my life, go back home by bus, walk the 5 minutes which becomes 7 due to weariness, scribble what i have to, listen to what i want, stare at the wall, think and spit out what i feel occasionally. and when i spit it out, it sounds so mundane, which is just because my mood is mirrored in my words, because it isn't actually so mundane. i sleep thinking i'll wake up to do all this again. and again. and again. or i might change. again.

i've grown, a lot. responsibility has eked into my life, and looks to hitch a ride with me wherever i go. i still find time for myself. to do the things i love;

for dream theater's a change of seasons,

for jack, as he jumps at me, as i walk home,

for that perfect coffee,

for the people in my life,

for the random pretty girl to turn her face,

for hating myself for the ones that faded away over time because i didn't take the effort,

for a few words, now and then.

why?

because i will change,

because change is all we do.

me, you, why, jack too.

i ask myself, "was it worth it?"

To old motorcycles and polaroid photographs.

Sleep when you can't stay awake any longer, not because it's time .

Cinema paradiso

Another one of my holiday movie marathon post. Read if you want some suggestions for a good movie to watch over the weekend. ;)

In no particular order, over the past few weeks, I watched :

• Scarface : Tony montana's rise to power, and all the dangers and vices that come with it. A fine movie, but you might find it a bit long. Kudos to Al Pacino.

• The Notebook : Nicholas sparks, you know. Summer romance and a a twist at the end where someone has to have a terminal/sad illness. The summer romance part was good.

• Seven pounds : Will smith on a mission to make up for one mistake he committed which led to the death of seven people. A pound for each of the seven. Seven pounds. Beautiful, in parts.

• Chaos theory : I don't know why I saw this. You're not missing anything.

• Let the right one in : Dutch thriller. Shot with class. A story of a little girl vampire, you know, a vampire as in the ones which bite humans for blood, burns when in the sunlight, etc, not one that twinkles in the sun.

• Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid : Please watch this if you get your hands on it. Brilliant movie. Sundance is class, and Paul Newman (Butch), I don't have to say anything about him. It's about The Hole In The Wall Gang which robbed trains.

• Cool Hand Luke : Again, Paul Newman brilliance.

The luke smile

• Wedding crashers : I got this for the cast, actually. But in the end, it ended up being fun. Rachel Mcadams, Owen Wilson and Isla Fisher. Rachel Mcadams is my current favorite, officially.

• The lucky ones : Again, another movie for the cast, but the one-line-plot was promising as well. Three soldiers who've come home from the war, each with his/her own problems. Rachel Mcadams does an amazing southern accent. I think you might wanna watch this one.

• Walk the line : The story of johnny cash. Fame and its repercussions. A biography of Johnny cash. Joaquin phoenix fits the role perfectly, though he might have done better with the laugh. And Reese witherspoon's southern accent matches Rachel's.

• The Pianist : Truth. In all its bitterness. The true story of Wladislaw Spzilman, a pianist in the time of the Blitzkreig and the holocaust. Must-see if you like art movies.

• Beautiful girls : Really good. I can watch this movie for Natalie portman's "Yo-willy-boy!" alone. A bunch of guys, and their concept of beauty takes a turn at their high school reunion.

• Fugitive pieces : Very obscure cast. Beautiful poetry and amazing lines. Again the story of a Jewish man who loses his family as a kid during the war, and is taken care of by a greek.

• Children Of Heaven : Simple. Beautiful. It is relly something, the way the little girl , Zahra, runs.

Making good use of the last few days I have for the movies. GRE-prep will go on during clss hours as well. Feels good, doing something worthwhile. When I question myself whether I wtach too many movies, I always have the GRE prep to match. ;)

Bad Hair Day

What do you do when you wake up and see there's a fault with the motor and there's no water available in the overhead tank? All that after you've run for like half an hour and are probably better off staying away from people? And you've gotta get to college within an hour?

Thankful that there was enough water for a facewash.

Even more thankful that man invented the deodorant.

If your muscles feel like they're on fire, it means that it's working

Sometimes pain can be a good thing.

How Federer got married, got hounded and won the French open.

The match wasn't as good as the semifinal though. It was as though Soderling had left his spirit in the lockers. But he was sporty enough with his speech. I wish the match had gone on to four sets atleast. Nothing like a good match. Federer beating Nadal next year would be awesome to watch.

And oh yea, Federer already got a life.

P.s : Pikachus are supposed to be pikachus.

P.P.S : Blimey.

Happy Birthday, Best Friend

4 years and I've been there for only one, that too, the first year, when I just got to know you. I used to be away and you used to be home, now I'm home and you're away.

This could be a new thing. We could do this every June 6th so the chain isn't broken. :D

Adolf Pikachu

The Anti-Jew Pikachu.

Found this on Google Image Search while searching for Adolf Hitler. Bless whoever did this. ;))

Epiphany

Life is like the rollercoaster ride you were forced to take when you were a kid, and never want to get out of now that you know what it really is.

Ideally.

Eyes Wide Shut

I'm in a state where I don't know whether I'm bored or happy with my holidays now.

I needed change. So I did all this new shit during the holidays. Looks like I've been doing the same different things everyday. :|

Studying the evolution of tamil swearwords with a friend is a change from the ordinary, no?

Or not having Jay Leno for the tonight show, or Nadal not being in the final 8.

I can't wait for college to reopen, though it promises to be the worst semester ever.

Monkey see. Monkey do.

A product of joblessness. Jobless enough to whip this up. Not jobless enough to use something other than mspaint.

To die hard Nadal fans, this is just for fun. Yes, one loss might not be too big. Yes he might come back harder at wimbledon. But still monkey-boy lost. :)

This would have been way different if Federer had lost today, but he literally clawed his way back. Whattafourthset!

P.s : I mspaint like a retard.

6 in 3. The Sequel

This time I didn't watch 6 movies in three days.

In no particular order :

Into the wild : Methought it was beautiful. some people say it is creepy. (Sonu doesn't think it's creepy but maybe she will after she watches it. My bad! :P)

Monsters Vs Aliens : Animated features, you know how they work. The best thing about this, for me was B.O.B and Dr.Cockroach.

Twilight : I think I've said enough in the previous post. (I should probably add that the baseball scene was shot well. Loved the editing and the background score)

In Bruges : Clap. Clap. Weirdly amazing movie.

Charlie Wilson's war : The cold war. As it was, with Tom Hanks playing Charlie Wilson.

“These things happened. They were glorious and they changed the world. Then we fucked up the endgame.”

The Shining : Now THIS is a creepy movie.

Gran Torino (again)

Munich : Retaliation for the murder of the Israeli athletes at the munich olympics. Well shot but a tad slow.

Angels and Demons : Definitely better than "The Da Vinci code" movie. They did fairly enough to condense it into a movie. I've always considered Dan Brown as a masala-author, but he sure has done his research. There was one major production flaw in the movie however. Like, MAJOR. It is 8 PM when the first killing happens, and the vatican ha sa bright sunny sky. Half an hour or so later, it is the dark of the night, probably because the director realised it.

Word from the GRE front is that progress is good on that side as well.