Jan 29, 2008

Like a flowing river??

One of those days when I feel like I wanna melt cheese in the swiss alps with a st.bernard eagerly awaiting the end result. I want out. Things spiralling out of control. Why? Not because I'm sick and tired. But because everything I wanna do shows up in front of me at the same time like a beaming kid with an open sac, wearing a dracula costume yelling "Trick or treat!!!". Times when sanity is tested. At times like this if you don't become insane for even a little while then you're a lune alright!

I've always wondered why things are what they are. Please don't read on if you expect profound philosophy. But if you're satisfied by mindless analysis done by 19 yr olds who make up stuff and call it profound philosophy, then be my guest. What would happen if what we knew and what we didn't know got interchanged? Chaos?? no. Because all people in this world don't know the same things. Our roles would merely get interchanged. (No wisecracks about people not knowing how to stand, eat , see, etc...)

Imagine a situation wherein you are asked to do something for the dumbest person ever, and he/she gets the credit for it. You would love to pound the crap out of her/him, but you can't and you have to look on as he/she ascend to new levels of crappiness. What would you do when you're forced to face that face day after day week after week? You'd break wouldn't you? Atleast for a while?? If your answer is no then you need help. Period.

The only solace is in knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Till then I'm trying to be comfortably numb. Crap-proof. I bounce crap right off. Now that would be a helluva invention. Crap-proof attire for the 19 yr old. I should preach someday. Seriously.

Row row row your boat...
Gently down the stream.
Bam poof kablow bang,
Tseeeew kapwing gleem.

Thank you for your patience. My period of temporary insanity is over. Elliptical curve cryptography here I come!


Jan 21, 2008

I'm back...

I’ve realised enough is enough. I ‘ve finally made sometime to do one of the things I love doing. Pity that I’ve time for other stuff but I ‘ve to make some to do what I love.

The past 2 weeks have been different for me. Stuff that was in my life for most of the time for the last year suddenly left me for the last week. No tantalizing wait for the s11a at 7 50 AM when a question pops into your head- “Has it left already??”. No three bus transit after the more often than not departure of the same without me. No “Excuse me ma’am”s on the few days I arrive at 8:32 AM but forced to accept it is 8:37 because the teacher’s watch says so. No sheepish grins. No knowing glances. No searching for a seat except the first three rows. No relief when the bell rings. No lunch time group discussions about what-not. No RV visits. No long-busride home. No music after getting home. No internet. No coimbatore….

Bro came home after one and a half years. We spent time at Chennai at grandma’s for the pongal holidays before his departure on 19th. He’s still the same, just a few adjustments- lesser hair and a few kilos lighter. I woke up late. Paati’s food for a change. Ate to my fill feeling guilty all along about the 5 kilos I’d gained. Nevertheless ate the same if not more. Went to spencers with mom and bro. Mom’s first visit there. Losing track of time had never been this fun. The four of us in an auto on a ride home. Stuff happens just to kindle your memory doesn’t it? A visit to a friend-from-old apartment-and-family-album’s place to find their kids all grown up but them being the same. Chit-chat. Dinner. Photo albums. Laughed at how stupid we looked in pants which looked like shorts because we wore them chest high. Made promises about suing my parents after I earned enough to get a lawyer, for not changing my hairstyle back then ( Trust me, You’d have done the same). Bye bye’s. Taxi ride to airport. Bye-byes. Hugs. Looking back. Ride back home at midnight. Staying awake to hear the flight has been delayed by two hours. Train journey back to coimbatore. Back to the life as of now.

I look back at this travel through time. Could it be that all these have been right here with me without me realizing it? Be what may, life rocks.

I feel some kind of change. I feel like I’ve been put through the borsalini test. I have a feeling I might have passed. J Blood flows through my fingers as I sit before this screen after three weeks and I realize how good it feels. Music runs in the back and I sing along. I break free along with avril and Zeppelin.

I feel good. Goooooooood! (Seen bruce almighty??)